12 Dates of Christmas - 5 9 Lives of Christmas - 4 A Boyfriend For Christmas - 4 A Carol Christmas - 3 A Charlie Brown Christmas - 5 A Christmas Carol (1984, George C. Scott) - 4⭐ A Christmas Carol (1999, Patrick Stewart) - 5⭐ A Christmas Story - 2 A Christmas Snow A Christmas Wedding A Christmas Wish A Garfield Christmas - 5 A Smokey Mountain Christmas - 4 A Snow Globe Christmas A Boyfriend for Christmas A Carol Christmas A Country Christmas Story A Dog Named Christmas A Nanny for Christmas A Season for Miracles A Smokey Mountain Christmas A Star for Christmas A Very Brady Christmas All About Christmas Eve An Accidental Christmas Anne Tyler's Saint Maybe Anything but Christmas Battle of the Bulbs - 4 Borrowed Hearts - 3⭐ Call Me Mrs. Miracle - 3⭐ Christmas Mail (2010) - 4⭐ Christmas Town (2008) - 1⭐ Christmas Under Wraps (2014) - 4⭐ Christmas Vacation - 5 Christmas With the Kranks - 5 Christmas Angel Christmas Comes Home to Canaan Christmas Do-over Christmas in Canaan Christmas in the City Christmas Magic Christmas Mail Comfort and Joy Cookie Cutter Christmas - 4 Crazy for Christmas Dear Secret Santa Deck The Halls - 3 Defending Santa Eloise at Christmastime Finding Christmas Holiday Heist (2011) - 1⭐ Holiday Wishes Holiday in Handcuffs Holly's holiday How the Grinch Stole Christmas! - 5 If You Believe - 5 It's A Wonderful Life - 3 Jingle All The Way - 4 Let it Snow Love's Christmas Journey Lucky Christmas Merry Ex-mas - 1⭐ Miracle on 34th Street (1947) - 4 Miracle on 34th Street (1994) - 4 Moonlight and Mistletoe - 5⭐ Mr. Saint Nick Mrs. Miracle - 4⭐ Naughty or Nice November Christmas - 4⭐ On the Second Day of Christmas Once Upon A Christmas - 5 One Magic Christmas - 5 Pete's Christmas - 3⭐ Prancer - 5 Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July - 1 Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - 5 Rudolph's Shiny New Year - 1 Silent Night (2002) - 5 Snow - 5 Snowglobe - 5⭐ Surviving Christmas - 4 The Bear Who Slept Through Christmas - 4 The Best Christmas Pageant Ever - 3 The Christmas Box - 2⭐ The Christmas Choir The Christmas List - 4 The Christmas Shoes - 5 The Christmas Consultant The Christmas Pageant The Christmas Spirit The Family Man - 4 The March Sisters at Christmas The National Tree - 5⭐ The Night They Saved Christmas - 4 The Santa Clause - 5 The Town Christmas Forgot - 3 The Tree That Saved Christmas - 2⭐ The Family Holiday The Family Man The National Tree The Road to Christmas The Three Gifts The Town Christmas Forgot The Ultimate Christmas present Thomas Kinkade's Christmas cottage Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Miracle - 1 Three Days - 5 Timepiece - 5⭐ Twas the Night Before Christmas - 5 Twice Upon A Christmas - 3 When Angels Come to Town Window Wonderland - 4 ___________

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Sugarcoated Bitterness

When someone is happy every morning, kind to everyone, and always forgiving - run like hell. They are going to explode sooner or later because, let's face it, it's impossible to be alive without some negative emotions. What would happen to a lush garden if the sun shone every day? It would die, and if someone lit a match too close to it, it would burn.

Don't try to be full of sunshine and rainbows every day. Try to figure out how you really feel, and express it. Deal with it; and deal with it rationally. I'm not saying you need to flip out and scream nasty things at someone because you're pissed off, I'm saying you need to get away from that person for awhile and figure out a way to release the anger in a healthy way. But don't hang around and pretend everything is fine.

And here is a scene from one of the best movies of all time:

Wordstew entry 12/15/11

Challenge: STEW ON THIS for Thursday, December 15, 2011: “The unsaid, for me, exerts great power.” Louise Gluck. Describe a scene, hinting at without broadcasting what is going on.

Entry #1: Still drenched in sweat from her daily 3 mile run, Beth stood in front of the refrigerator, feeling the cool air caress her skin. The sights and smells sickened her as much as they brought her joy; tart apples, spicy chili, the juicy steak that her parents had brought home last night after eating out. They all called to her, to the part of her that she had been trying to kill for so long. The hunger, the need to be satiated, the desire to be filled with warmth. Looking longingly at the feast before her, the voice, that horrible voice that was part her and part something else - something deeper, something from the raw, hurt part of her - screamed out, telling her to stop. She heard the same message that played over and over in her head - I have no control over anything if I can't control my own body. Slowly closing the door to the refrigerator, she instead changed into her bathing suit and went to the pool and starting swimming the 100 laps that were her punishment for almost giving in to the basal desires of her body. Her mother glanced out at the pool and wondered idly if Beth had lost weight, but her pager sounded and she headed out, back to the hospital to work more overtime. Her husband had left for another conference early this morning, and would be gone for several days. They were both so proud that they could give Beth everything that money could buy. They wouldn't realize that material things can not take the place of love until it was too late. Too late for them - and much too late for Beth.

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Entry #2: The bright sunshine made her squint as she stepped off the plane. Slipping her sunglasses on, she looked around in amazement at the beauty surrounding her. Every color seemed so much more vivid here than it did in the city and the air seemed cleaner, more refreshing. The light sparkled on the ocean as lazy waves washed up on the beach. She knew it was going to be perfect, just like she had always dreamed it would be. Looking down at her hand, she again marveled how one small circle of gold could change her life so much. The diamond glittered as she moved her hand, looking at it from every view.

Sitting in a booth that overlooked the beach, she tried to be patient as she waited for him to meet her. He had arrived early to make sure everything was in order; she knew he would never let her have anything that was less than perfect. Looking out, she saw his driver pull up in his limo, and she picked up her bag and headed out to meet him. These two days without him had seemed like an eternity, but she knew it would be worth the wait. As she approached the car, his mother stepped out, looking years older than her actual age. "I don't know how to tell you this," she said, "but there's been an accident."

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Entry #3: The kids were running wild today, as usual, and she was exhausted; worn down, burned out, and sick of the whole thing. Mama had been right about Jimmy, he had given her four children in five years, and then moved on to the tarty little waitress from the club. She brought the mail in and sat down at the table, noting again that she needed to get that rickety leg on the chair fixed somehow. Shuffling through the pile of mail, most of them marked "final notice", she once again tried to figure out where the money was going to come from. Working full time at that crappy little market for minimum wage, plus part time sweeping up the hair in the salon just didn't bring in enough money. Jimmy had never sent a dime for child support, and although the social worker said that they would be getting the money from him soon, they hadn't come through for her yet. She knew that they wouldn't get much from him anyway; what he didn't spend on beer he spent at the track.

Marissa, her eldest, came in and put down an envelope in front of her. "Mama, I'm sorry I couldn't get you much for your birthday," she said. She opened the envelope and pulled out a handmade card with a lotto ticket inside. The card read "Even if this ticket isn't a winner, you are a winner to me. Love, Marissa." Tears in her eyes, she stood up and hugged her daughter. Marissa took her hand and led her into the living room to watch the numbers being drawn, both hoping fate would be kind to them today.

Wordstew entry; 11/8/11

Artist: http://zenosfrudakis.com/sculptures/public/Freedom.html

Challenge: STEW ON THIS for Tuesday, November 8, 2011: “A good photo stops a moment from running away.” Eudora Welty. Write up to one paragraph about this image.

Many people don't understand how difficult it is to treat mental illness. There are never any clear-cut answers; nor are there any quick fixes. In the beginning, I was wrapped up in my illness, all alone, not knowing for certain what was wrong. In my late teens, I was diagnosed with cyclothymia after my anorexia landed me in the hospital. Medications and therapy were administered with some positive effect; but still, something wasn't right. Eventually it was determined that cyclothymia was an incorrect diagnosis, and it was changed to bipolar II disorder with chronic insomnia. Different medications, different therapy; things were starting to fall into place - but we weren't there yet. Years of riding the diagnosis/medication merry-go-round followed; and finally, in my late 20's, we had an answer. Bipolar NOS, chronic insomnia, PTSD, and generalized anxiety disorder. This was after 5 hospitalizations in 2 years. So, 12 years after that initial hospitalization, we found the correct medications at the correct dosages, and the correct type of therapy. There are still times when my meds need to be tweaked, but, for the most part, I have been free to live - most importantly to me, to live hospital free for almost 4 years now.

Wordstew entry; 11/9/11

Challenge: STEW ON THIS for Wednesday, November 9, 2011: “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Martin Luther King, Jr. Write an "If/Then" statement.

If you hold on to the past, then your arms are too full to welcome the future.

Wordstew entry; 11/10/11

Challenge: STEW ON THIS for Thursday, November 10, 2011: “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” – Carl Gustav Jung. Write, in 400 words or less, about meeting someone for the first time.

We were driving past the Humane Society on our way home, and I asked Chuck to pull over so we could visit the animals. As we walked around the room full of kennels that so many - too many - cats and kittens called home, there was a lot of meowing and hissing coming from them, and a lot of oohing and aahing coming from the two of us. Chuck picked up a little striped kitten and remarked that even though we didn't need another cat - we already had two - he wouldn't mind taking that little guy home if he hadn't already been spoken for.

Looking down into the bottom row of kennels, I saw a little ball of black, brown and cream fur with golden eyes staring at me. She was scrunched up against the back wall trying to look inconspicuous. I asked the assistant if I could hold her, and she said that I could certainly try but that particular kitten was a bit shy. I reached in carefully and placed her warm little body on my shoulder; she wasn't much bigger than my hand. She nuzzled her nose into my neck and started in with the loudest purr I have ever heard. The next day, after all of the paperwork and reference checking was done, Grizabella came to live with us in her new forever home. Chuck is long gone, but Grizabella is now 12 years old and has been one of the biggest blessings in my life.