The American Nightmare

Wrote this awhile back...thought it was an appropriate start to my blog...

I am deeming myself unqualified to be an American. I am not Barbie, nor am I Donna Reed, Claire Huxtible, or Mrs. Brady. I do not resemble Martha Stewart in any way. I do not get up before the sun, take a shower, apply my make-up perfectly, and don a smile and lipstick that never wears off seven days a week; as a matter of fact, I don't think I ever have done that all in the same day.

When we are growing up in this society, we are given scripts to carry out like little actors in a play. There seem to be certain requirements that never change. It starts out with Be Popular in School. We then move on to Join Accepted Extracurricular School Activities and Date a Nice Person. Graduate High School precedes Go to College or Join the Military. After we do these things, we Get Married or Find a Career, or, better yet, do both. Then we are to Have Children, Raise them Properly, Acquire a Large House and Minivan or SUV, and, finally, Put the Children through College. After these initial requirements, we are allowed to Retire and Move to Florida.

I do not remember being asked if I was interested in or capable of any of these things. Being kind, intelligent, caring, and honest don't seem to be redeeming qualities if you aren't living according to the carefully outlined script. Living life according to one's own God-given schedule or abilities is not acceptable in this day and time. Unfortunately, we are risking our children's spiritual and emotional well being with these expectations.

I believed in the script. I thought that If Only I was Popular, If Only I could Meet a Nice Guy, and If Only I could Maintain my Perfect Weight while finding a Perfect Career, then I would be happy. Then I would please my parents, my family and society in general. I would Have it Made. But I suffered from undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder and Chronic Insomnia. I developed Anorexia Nervosa and PTSD. I had a personality disorder to boot. There is no room in our pre-designed scripts for these obstacles. There is no margin of error allowed. That is what makes this the American Nightmare for so many of us. Society does not allow us to develop in our own way, at our own time. We are recognized as children, not as human beings with individual needs, quirks, and feelings. We are shepherded through the system and often are left sad, hopeless, or morally bankrupt.

It is time to look beyond the script. It is time we started teaching more than reading, writing and arithmetic. If we truly want to become a better society, we need to teach our children about kindness to others, honesty, trust, and faith. We need to teach our children how to have a healthy self-esteem, and how to help others do the same. To teach this to others, you will have to live it yourself. That seems to be the hardest part for most people, and I think that is sad. That alone says more about our society than any number of large houses and high-paying careers. But I challenge you to try. I have faith in you.