There is a little house in the center of my world. It sometimes keeps me safe, and it sometimes keeps me trapped. The house has been constructed from many materials - the shattered glass of broken promises and the crushed granite of abandonment. Bricks of denial and the ice of my silences. Manic bursts of colored mosaic tiles and tear-soaked pillows. My picket fence is unpainted and sagging under the weight of societies expectations.
When I dare to venture from my house, I never know which landscape will greet me. Will I enter a dark, vast wasteland full of emptiness or will I step into the violent throes of a hurricane? Will I be greeted with warm sunshine and the flurry of a busy boardwalk or will I walk through a lush forest with the hushed sounds of small animals to keep me company? I've shuddered in the violence of tornadoes and felt the bursting of lava from a volcano. My pain ridden cries have echoed into the darkness and I've experienced the thrill of riding the waves in the ocean of possibilities. The long dreary nights haunt me and the fun filled adventures tempt me. This world of mine is unstable and contradictory. I seem to be the pawn in some great game and I don't know the rules. I gather up my hopes and dreams one day, only to have them blown away into eternity the next.
I cherish the people who are brave enough to enter my world and stand by me. I despise those that lack the courage to try. I pity the ones who enter only to leave in fear. I invite you to visit me and my world. The door to my little house remains open to anyone who is willing to take the leap of faith that is necessary to enter. Let me be your guide in this wonderland of mine, and have no fear.
I'd like to sit at your table and write a book with you.
ReplyDeleteThat's sweet :o) Don't know if I'm good enough to get published but it would be a fun and interesting task!
ReplyDeleteI do think your writing deserves to be heard. It's a passing thought, but a collection of essays and poems by some of us suffering from bipolar has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I believe the idea has potential as a great future project. Herman, Helen, you, and I all have inspired each other. Yes, there is potential there, but first we need to keep writing. =)
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