I got in for my emergency appt. yesterday; my regular pdoc, Dr. Proctor, was not in this week, so they got me in to see someone else. I've met her once before, and she is very nice. She didn't want to start any new meds since she is not my regular doc, but she did change my Lamotrigine from 150 mg once per day to 100 mg twice a day. She also said that I can take up to 4 doses of the 1 mg clonazepam if I need to, I was on 3 per day. My anxiety and my mood swings were getting bad, so I hope this helps until I have my follow up appt. with my regular doctor on April 20. The clonazepam tends to cause some fatigue, but I'll put up with it for now.
I do still want to switch to a different doctor, and I found out that to switch I will have to tell Dr. Proctor that I don't want to see him and why. One of the reasons is that I'm scared of him, he yelled at me one time when I was in the hospital. I'm scared he will get upset when I tell him, so I am going to take someone with me when I see him in April. I am hoping that Pam from that new program I am starting will go with me, she is a great advocate for people with mental illness and she would be my first choice. My mom did offer to go with me, so if I can't find anyone else, I guess I will take her. She isn't always the best support for me, but she seems to be getting better as time goes by. And she doesn't let anyone walk all over her like I do, I know she will tell my doc off if he gets pissy with me, LOL!
I actually think that maybe she might be to the point where she would be able to read a book about understanding bipolar; she is not in denial about it like she was in the past. I give her little glimpses into how things are to see how she takes it, and like I said, she seems to be getting it more than in the past. One big thing that I need to talk to her and my family about is to stop talking about my childhood and bringing up the things I did wrong in the past. I think I will wait until I find a therapist and get comfortable with him/her before I talk to them about that; I might have my mom, dad and sister just come in with me. My brother doesn't trigger me at all so I don't think he would have to come, but I will ask him if he wants to. But that's in the future, so I'll concentrate on today for now.
I do actually feel pretty good today; my anxiety is not out of control so far and my mood is good. I will probably have some more mood swings until the higher dose of Lamotrigine has time to work, but I'm grateful for any good day!
I really don't like med adjustment times... they are sooo LONG. I wish they worked overnight. I had my worst bout with med adjustment a few months ago. I swear I thought it was going to be like that the rest of my life.
ReplyDeleteMy worst one was last year, I had been in the hospital 5 times in 2 years, so they decided to take me off of everything and start over. It was horrible, I hardly slept, my moods were all over the place, and my anxiety had me doubled over at times. I was there 3 1/2 weeks; I was stable enough to leave, but it still took a couple of months to get used to the new meds. No fun!
ReplyDelete