My ex (Chuck) was supposed to come over today at 11:00am so we can work on some papers for our divorce (we need to finish the financial papers and the marriage settlement agreement, so I can't file these until he signs them). I sent him a text to set this up 6 days ago. He said it would work fine (he is out of work and spends up to 16 hours a day online with some girl from another country that he's never met in real life, so it's not like he has anything else to do).
We separated in 2003 but we were still friends until this January; he met that girl last August and she basically started telling him how to live his life (he's almost 46 and she is 25 btw). She told him that she didn't want him to be friends with me since I was his ex (although she still lives with her husband). This was one of the main reasons we stopped being friends; he started cancelling plans with me or he would show up over an hour late. That's the really short version LOL.
One of the things that has always bothered me (and triggers my anxiety and depression) is that I always had to remind him of everything. And I mean EVERYTHING!! But I am more triggered when I DO remind him and he shows up late anyhow. So I wasn't sure if I should remind him or not, but I ended up sending a text that said: Want to confirm that you are still coming over tomorrow at 11 to do papers. Please reply asap. Thanks.
So...7 hours later; no response. I text him again: It's been 7 hours; I just need to know if you're coming. He replies: yep I'll be there.
And then today:
I woke up this morning and turned on my cell and there was a message from him "we need to talk. call me." So I called him and asked what's wrong. He says "I don't think I should come over. I don't think we should see each other at all." So I said "Chuck, you have to come over because you need to sign these papers so I can file them. I don't want to see you either, but we can't get the divorce done unless you sign these papers. This is ridiculous. You're almost 46 years old and we've known each other for 13 years, you're acting like you're 12 years old if you can't f*****g come here for 10 minutes to sign these papers so we can get the divorce done" He says "Oh, and I don't want you to text me anymore and ask how the cats are. They are my cats now. Plus you never ask how I am, you only care about the cats." I said "We're not friends anymore, plus if I asked you how you are, Joss would get mad that I was asking about you. I don't see why it's a big deal if I ask how the cats are doing." He said "Well, Joss doesn't want you to text me at all." I said "It's none of her business anyway". He said "It is because she is my girlfriend" I said "Fine, Odin was my cat before I even met you, but if you can't be a grown up and send me a text and let me know the cats are okay once in awhile then I'll stop asking. Whatever." He said "Can't you just mail me the papers and I can sign them and send them back?" I said "Seriously, that is SO stupid. You don't have a job and you're not physically disabled and you have a car. There is no reason you can't be an adult and come here for 10 minutes and sign these so it can get done." He said "Fine, I'll be there at 11."
So, at 11:25 he calls me and says "Well, I'm still coming but I had something to do first. I have started seeing a therapist ON SECOND LIFE (omg) and he says I should only see you if it's necessary. And I don't want you to put Joss down anymore." I said "Signing these papers IS necessary. If you would have just come over when you said you were going to and signed the papers, that conversation about Joss would never have even happened." He said "Well, you need to let us live our lives and you live yours." I said "That's what I've been doing, I haven't contacted you at all except to ask about the cats once in awhile. But I said I wouldn't do that anymore, so you don't have to worry about it." He said "Okay, well I'll be there in a little while."
He finally showed up at 12:10. He came in and signed the papers and left. When he got out the door I said "I have really tried to be civil about this, but after this bull***t today, I don't want you to contact me or come near me unless it's absolutely necessary for the divorce." And I slammed the door.
So my mom is going to come up here sometime and take me to get copies and file the papers. They don't have to be filed for a few weeks, I just wanted to get it done, and I'm so PO'd that he agreed to come and then pulled this stunt. My peer support specialist, Pam, had called me on Monday and asked if we could start our sessions today and I had said I couldn't because I was SUPPOSED to be doing this today. If I had known he wasn't going to take me to get copies and file them and everything, I could have had an appointment with her today.
And WTH? A therapist on Second Life? What? How stupid is he? No real therapist would be sitting around doing free therapy on an online computer game when they could be making money doing therapy in real life. OMG.
I wish I didn't have to wait another month to start seeing my new therapist, but he doesn't have any appointments before then.
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